The Quest to be a Band Nerd
by Kaiser of the Band
Summary: The uncensored tale behind the DHS band...
1. Pre UIL

Author's Note: This series is meant to be a spin off of the disgruntledbandgeek's series, The Band Camp Chronicles. The only difference is the author, the time period, the point of view, the style of writing, the main characters, the good the bad and the restless...etc. Please enjoy. Oh! By they way, the names for the directors are completely made up, so that no one can take offense. Thank you for reading!  
  
The Quest to be a Band Nerd   
  
Chapter 1: Pre UIL  
  
***SIDE NOTE***  
  
I would like to take a tangent from the story that has not yet begun, to inform you of the constant struggle over what we Band devotees should be called. Many a day I contemplate this struggle. Should we be known forevermore as lowly band geeks? Or should we be forever glorified as the geniuses known as band nerds. I have come to my conclusion, despite the desperate attempts of countless freshmen to change my mind. Band nerd is the true name for our calling, and therefore that is what I shall be known as, and I will where a badge of honor towards this extravagant fact. Band nerds we are, and band nerds we shall forever be! And besides, I am older than the freshmen, and I say band nerds, so I win! Band geeks...Pf!  
  
Back to the story at hand...  
  
In the beginning, there was nothing but darkness. Then the band was invented. It was good, and there was much rejoicing. The band soon evolved from the extremely deprived concert band into the wonder we all know and love today, marching band. This modern day concept is the heart and soul of many, and initiates our wonderful tale...  
  
There once was a band from Texas, known as the DHS band. (I would tell you a little more, but that gets too personal and a little creepy...) This band had marched all summer long in the 110° heat, only to find themselves at their first hurtle in the marching band season. This extreme hardship and effort has brought the band to their first competition, Pre-UIL. This contest was constructed for the benefit of bands competing in the UIL competition, and is meant to be an accurate assessment of the band's marching technique and playing skills. However, on this dreaded day, something horrible was about to happen...  
  
This is gonna be great! Thought James as he fingered through his part in the marching show. He was sitting in his cramped bus seat with the other saxophones, singing the melodic line softly. Soon the entire bus was buzzing with the sound of out of tune, untrained voices, screeching out their favorite song, Baba Yaga. Now, it is to be known that these band nerds were not in choir for a reason; but band nerds will be band nerds, and they continued to sing random pitches aimed in the general direction of their notes in the tune.  
  
As the buses pulled around the corner and into the drive for the stadium, the bandies all became quiet and nervous, waiting for the announcements of their band director. The drum major, Shelby, was yelling at people to shut up, while the low brass was still carrying an off tune in the back. It had been raining off and on all day, and was currently in a non-rainy period.  
  
The bandies were told to get off the buses, and take their instruments out. The percussion, low brass, and low woodwinds all ran to the truck to get their instruments out and get ready for their performance. They formed a single file line, and headed to the warm-up area. Mr. Schnott led the group in a quick long tone exercise, while he sent groups off to tune. James, like always, took a few minutes to achieve a proper tune on the note. The trombones took forever, because they didn't remember to tune in long first on concert F. After the tuning and warm-up was finished, the bandies were led around the back of the stadium to their entrance point.  
  
This is awesome! Thought Becky, one of the aspiring trumpet players. I just hope it doesn't rain...  
  
As they stood there listening to the other band perform, they wondered how they would do. Suddenly, the signal was given, and the bandies were led out onto the field. They had five minutes to set up everything, warm-up (on field), and prepare to play. The pit scrambled to set everything in the right spot while the band played their quick warm-up. Everything was ready...  
  
As they played through their opener, the trumpet solo was ruined, and the notes were out of tune. The soloist had just shown his natural stupidity, and pierced his own tongue. Anyway, the song went fine, and headed straight into one of their favorites, Baba Yaga. This song was a fast, in your face kind of song, and was enjoyable to march to, even if the drill was less than great. Halfway through Baba Yaga, the rain began to pour down. I'm not talking a sprinkle here, a drop there; I'm talking all out downpour! That wasn't even the worst part. This rain was no ordinary kind of cold rain; it was freezing rain. It was cold enough to snow!  
  
The bandies began to shiver as they tried to march through their parts and play. The woodwinds were panicking as their instruments began to mold in front of their eyes. The brass players' fingers were so frozen, they cold hardly push down the valves. The color guard had sponge-clothes, and had to dance the rest of the show in soaking wet dresses. The pit could not play their parts, because their hands were frozen to the mallets. At the end of the show, the band was forced to march a long precession around the track of the stadium, still in the rain.  
  
"This sucks!" stated Jenna, a section leader of the clarinets, and master of the obvious. "Put your instruments in your jackets!"  
  
So, the entire band was forced to march the slow promenade around the track in the ice-cold rain, not even able to feel their fingers. As they arrived at the place for taking pictures, the entire band split up and formed a full-out sprint to the buses. Their show had gone downhill from the point the first drop of rain hit, on. They were dismayed as they returned, only to find that they had achieved the rank of fourth out of five.  
  
"Hey, it's not that bad," Ben, boner leader, thought aloud, "At least it wasn't last!"  
  
"The fourth band didn't show up," retorted Kim, the other drum major.  
  
The whole band was dismayed from that point on. And so ends the tale of Pre UIL, known now only as Pre UIhell...  
  
Author's Note: I just wanted to state that this is more or less a true story, and that I will be continuing this series of anecdotes with more or less made up tales from this point on, to further the enjoyment of my readers. I would also like to acknowledge that only some of these names are real, but they will be showing up much more often then the made up ones. 


	2. The Card Club

Author's Note: This story is formed around the same general characters as The Band Camp Chronicles, and is meant to portray a different view of the same (or completely different) events, beginning at the previously mentioned Pre UIL contest a year earlier. This story will more likely than not skip months at a time, because none of the rest is of real importance until drum major tryouts, section leader tryouts, and summer band again! (Coming back in with the characters from The Band Camp Chronicles, but different story.) Please review with kindness.  
  
The Quest to be a Band Nerd  
  
Chapter 2: The Card Club  
  
***SIDE NOTE***  
  
Yet again I would like to inform you that something is asunder with this. There is in all reality a large gap between Pre UIL and the band trip, but this is so much more interesting and influential to the band as a whole, that nobody seems to care about anything that happened in between. As a forewarning to this chapter, the band trip was not as sober or sane as it should have been, but the show must go on! To begin, the morning of the trip...  
  
It was Friday morning, time to leave for the band trip. The bandies were congregated in the band hall, chatting and hoping for the wonderful trip that was to happen that day. There was a small crowd of bandies clumped together in the instrument room ignoring all else but their precious cards. Yes, this year was known to those that mattered as the Year of the Cards. Every waking moment was filled with the slight ruffling sound of a deck of cards in motion.  
  
There were not so many people as would be expected absorbed in this card playing, but that fact is not as important as others. In this clique of cards, there were at least 5 members. The first, and president of the card club, was Autumn. She was the president only because she had been the first to introduce a new game to the groupies, James Bond. She was a pit/clarinet/jazz band nerd, and was proud to be a junior. The others were also there...but they were less memorable than the flaming red haired drama queen.  
  
The card club was currently obsessed with the game of James Bond being played between Autumn and Robbie. Robbie had been challenged by the President more than a week ago, but only found time now to battle against the introducer of the game. The air was so fervently intense, that if you were there, you could almost hear the beating of hearts (no pun intended) as the cards slapped down across the floor. This challenge was not only for the noble honor of the winner, but also for the position of President.  
  
The cards lay in their piles, overturned and replaced as fast as humanly possible. They didn't even have the time to contemplate where or why they were landing in their stacks. Suddenly, Robbie shouted out in pure glee that he only needed to complete one more stack to win. Autumn's look of content joy dissolved into a look of dread gloom as she realized that she still had to complete two more piles to win. Out of nowhere, Robbie lunged for the five of hearts that had been carelessly tossed into the center of the game. He grabbed the card, placed it in his pile, and shouted "James Bond!" at the top of his lungs.  
  
Autumn dropped her hand of cards with a lost look on her face. She had just lost the game, her pride, and the presidency of the card club. Robbie began to rejoice with the others in the club. There was Joanna, the abnormally teacher-like freshman flutist. She could give a glare that would send even the most composed senior into a spasm of the shudders. Then there was Emily, the goofy oboist with an extreme sense of humor. She was a freshman with the ongoing motto of: "Sacrifice everything for humor." Next was Justin, the extremely talented (but not at cards) bass clarinet freshman, who had impressed the entire band on his trip to state in the winter. He was known only as the Joker, although he was around as more of a chipmunk/good luck charm. (Some people may have considered him to be more of a hedgehog, but oh well.) Rub his head to gain good luck for a week! Then there was, of course, the new president, Robbie, and the disgruntled vice-president, Autumn.  
  
The club decided to pack up for now, but to continue their play on the bus. As they emerged from the instrument room, they were completely unprepared for the gossip that was already flowing, and the distress that was about to take a hold of them... 


	3. Not Quite New Orleans

Author's Note: First of all, I would just like to say thanks for the reviews so far. I would also like to mention that although trombones normally tune to B flat, they were tuning to F in chapter one; because our band director was less gifted, as far as intelligence goes, than the average jar of mayonnaise. Just thought I would let you know. Now to the important fact. There is more to this chapter than is seen, and you can only read between the lines. (In other words the Woods scandal…)  
  
The Quest to be a Band Nerd  
  
Chapter 3: Not Quite New Orleans  
  
***SIDE NOTE***  
  
I thought that I should also let you know, that this is still a true story, and that there was a true problem here. Mr. Schnott as mentioned in Chapter 1 is really the director known in most of Texas as Mr. Jack Woods. There was a real accusation made, and as far as I know, they still don't know if it was a correct accusation, or just a lie. Mr. Woods will no longer be mentioned after this chapter, and neither will the drum major, "Kim." Fear not, though, because the story will continue from this chapter on in a happier note.  
  
The card club appeared from the instrument room, and began to observe their surroundings. Robbie observed Mr. Woods, a look of anguish on his face, and began to wonder what was going on. Out of the blue, the school bell rang, signaling the dismissal of first block. (A block is one class at our poor high school, which is about one and a half hours long. There are four in a day, and we switch from A to B day classes. It's stupid and annoying.) The bandies were told to take their stuff to the auditorium, because the orchestra needed the Band Hall for second block rehearsal. (This was last year, when the band and orchestra shared the same room.) Unfortunately for the orchadorks (no offense to those who have orchadork friends), the bandies have a much stronger will, and were basically in control of the band hall 24/7.  
  
The band nerds were ushered into the auditorium down the hall, like a group of over-loaded camels crossing the desert. They congregated in the back, because the thespian class was being held on stage. The card club decided not to be too incredibly bored, and formed a circle in the back. New members were easily inducted, as everyone there was totally bored out of their minds. Mr. Woods was nowhere to be seen, and neither was the other director, Steiner.  
  
The card club members soon decided that names were boring. They became known as numbers or faces, as were the cards. Robbie was naturally the King, and Autumn was the Queen. Emily, surprisingly enough, was the Jack; and Joanna was decidedly named the Ace. Justin, as stated earlier, was the Joker. Soon, more members came, saw, and were thus enlightened. There was Michelle the Three (whom you may recognize from The Band Camp Chronicles), Robin the Nine, guard captain that year; and Devin and Miranda, who were numbers long forgotten. Oh well…  
  
The morning activities did not differ from card playing and sitting around on the auditorium floor being bored for the next three hours. Nobody knew what was happening, and it wasn't actually on the minds of any of them. They just wanted to play cards. What joys life can hold!  
  
Countless games were played during these times, and countless more brain cells were lost in doing so. It all turns out for the better. These many games included the recently mentioned, and extremely popular, James Bond; the well-known game B.S. (or Liar, or countless other names); The incredibly quick reflex-testing game, Egyptian War (also known as other names; among these the less used around teachers and those with perverted minds, Egyptian Rat Screw). All the games were loved by the card club members, and played repeatedly with endless combinations of people who were also bored from sitting for hours.  
  
This constant play of cards finally ended, as the bandoes were instructed to gather their bags and instruments, and to load the buses. This was no ordinary band trip from one hick Texas town to the next; this trip was going from the boon dock town of Denton, Texas all the way to beloved New Orleans. The bandies loaded the buses enthusiastically, and they were off! 


	4. Lunch Break

Author's Note: I just wanted to say thanks to my wonderful editor, disgruntledbandgeek! Thanks! Make sure that, if you haven't already, you check The Band Camp Chronicles! They rock!  
  
The Quest to be a Band Nerd  
  
Chapter 4: Lunch Break  
  
As is a custom of band trips, those with more influence in the general crowd achieved the better seats on the buses. Therefore, the majority of the trombone section, the section leaders, and the percussionists were hidden away in the back of the bus. Meanwhile, the card club placed themselves blissfully and knowingly in the front of the bus. While those in back avoided parental guidance, the privileged few in the front had complete and utter control over the movies to be watched.  
  
The expedition to New Orleans was, overall, uneventful. The only sights to see, when given a chance, were empty fields or goop filled swamps. Every now and then there would be a noxious stench that overtook the entire bus. The deadly odor was quite obviously spraying in from the general direction of the tubas.  
  
As the buses pulled up to a stop for lunch, the bandies chattered with mindless innocence as they prepared to charge the local fast-food restaurants. The doors were opened and the parking lot exploded with the yells of starved band nerds searching for fresh meat. They separated into unorganized packs, heading towards the Sonic, McDonalds, and gas station that were located in the immediate area.  
  
The people that found themselves ordering at Sonic were sadly disappointed, as their orders were not taken for well over twenty minutes. As they nibbled their burgers, the card club headed back to the bus, and met up with Ashley and Cory on the way. Ashley was a freshman guard girl that had come along on the trip for the heck of it. She was widely known among her friends for being an extremely large klutz. Cory was a baritone freshman, who was currently engaged with Ashley. ;-)  
  
The bandies gathered on the bus, and Ashley and Cory were giggling at Ashley's inability to open her gummy worms. While the chaperones (including Ashley's mommy) tried to settle down the overactive band nerds for role call, she tugged relentlessly at the invulnerable plastic bag. The role was being called, and one name was drawn out slowly behind the next. Out of nowhere, an earsplitting bang echoed through the quieted bus.  
  
"ASHLEY!" shrieked the band mommy at the top of her lungs.  
  
Gummy worms had scattered across all the seats within a three-seat radius of the center of the explosion. The people around Ashley burst into spasms of giggling as their laps were littered with small, multicolored worms. Soon, there was no evidence of the small explosion except for the glaring mom, the laughing bandies, and the cherry red Ashley.  
  
The role call was soon finished, and the buses took off, yet again, towards their goal in New Orleans. The movies were still being selected by the privileged front few. As the film that was currently playing came to a not- so-abrupt halt, a census was taken to determine the next movie to be watched. An overwhelmingly large amount of the people on the bus (mostly in the back) voted for Armageddon, so the card club in front naturally chose Bring it On.  
  
Hours later, after watching Step-mom, Bring it On, AND Armageddon; and after at least twenty choruses of "Ain't no mountain high enough," the buses pulled up to the glorious Doublet Tree hotel in the dead of night. 


	5. The Contest

Author's Note: If there are any grammatical errors that have been spotted by your cunning eyes, please e-mail complaints to disgruntledbandgeek@yahoo.com or masterbandnerd@hotmail.com. Thank you.  
  
The Quest to be a Band Nerd  
  
Chapter 5: The Contest  
  
The Double Tree hotel was magnificent, and had an impressive lobby full of tables and comfortable chairs, perfect for playing cards. The irritable bandies complained loudly as they nearly tripped off the buses with their bags. Mr. Steiner was checking in with the hotel clerks, while they grabbed their instruments and tried to find their roommates.  
  
As they clumped together by room, Steiny (Steiner) approached with the room keys. The weary band nerds grabbed the keys and sprinted as fast as their legs could take them…to wait in line for half an hour at the elevators. Although this was a nice hotel, there were only two elevators that could only fit ten average band nerds. Soon enough, the bandies were in their rooms, dozing off into a peaceful slumber.  
  
* * * * *  
  
  
  
The next morning, the well-rested (or not) bandies headed down to the extravagant gourmet buffet that had been placed for them. This included a couple of soggy bagels, some filthy donuts, and week-old fruit. Thank you Double Tree. Ashley was pouting at the card club table, because the waiters, assisting the other people staying at the hotel, were refusing to give her milk. Ashley was the kind of person that would die without a glass of milk a day.  
  
As they continued through their gruel breakfast, Steiny mentioned that they should hurry and prepare for the contest. Yes, the band was not in New Orleans for only a joyful occasion, but for an actual competition. They traveled to the warm-up area via buses, and unloaded with their horns. Once inside, the bandies gazed wide-eyed with wonder at the massive pillars and gorgeous architecture that formed the warm-up building.  
  
The Symphonic Band quickly tossed aside their cases and arranged the masses of unorganized chairs into their concert formation. They were led, for the first time ever, by Steiny. As the last echoing notes of their warm up died away, they gathered their music and walked the distance across the street and down a block to the performance hall. While crossing the street, the extremely polite New Orleans citizens blared their horns in a show of old- fashioned hospitality at the crossing band nerds, and accelerated in hopes of ridding their fair city of the poor high school bandies.  
  
As they were directed inside, the hosts of the competition instructed them to set their horns in the aisle. The Concert Band performed, and the Symphonic Band gave a round of applause. As soon as the last song was completed, the Symphonic Band members snatched their instruments and headed speedily down back halls to the stage.  
  
A small girl announced the usual. This is a professional recording: no talking, no smoking, no screaming out loud, unnecessary comments, etc. Although they stated that it was a professional recording, if you listened to it, you would have to laugh.  
  
The band played through their march, Domingo Ortega, with renowned prestige and skill. The next song, As Summer Was Just Beginning, was an elegy written after the death of the smoker (wonder why he died?) and actor, James Dean. This was a slow, flowing song that forced tears from those listening. The next song was Longford Legend: three movements of joyful solos, skipping around like a happy sax. These Irish songs enchanted the audience to dance with their happiness. When the last note was finished, the audience exploded from their seats with tumultuous applause. Over exaggerate? Don't mind if I do!  
  
The bandies felt pleased with themselves as they returned to the buses with their cases, triumph in their hearts. 


	6. The French Quarter

Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews so far! Make sure to write more! Thanks to Boner Babe, Moldy Oboe, and everyone else who has thus far given me reviews, and those that plan to review in the future! Great help! Just one more thing, this may be extremely boring if you weren't there, but you can deal with it! :-P  
  
The Quest to be a Band Nerd  
  
Chapter 6: The French Quarter  
  
  
  
***SIDE NOTE***  
  
Um…I'm not so sure that this is actually what came next. I have bad memory, and this happened a year ago. Sorry if anyone seems to care if it is in the exact order as what happened. Oh well…  
  
  
  
The band nerds gathered outside the buses, trying to figure out what to do. They had to change clothes, but they did not know how they were supposed to go about changing. Steiner ordered the girls to get their stuff off bus two so that the guys could change. Meanwhile, the guys had already been told to get on bus two to change. Out of nowhere, a problem erupted.  
  
Steiner began to throw an extremely large tantrum as girls complained that guys were changing, and guys complained that girls were running around on the bus, and girls complained guys were on bus one when they were supposed to be changing. All hell had broken loose. (Although I seriously doubt any of the guys or girls would have minded changing on the same bus. Kinkalisciously so… *wink.*)  
  
Anyway, after Steiner's tantrum, the guard instructor's yelling, and the parents scrambling around, the band nerds finally changed. After having more comfortable clothes to wear (although the Show Stopper shoes they were wearing were quite comfortable!), the bandies were ushered onto the buses, and they charged away to the French Quarter.  
  
The French Quarter was a fun place to visit for all. The bandies split into separate groups, each headed by two chaperones. Most of the card club formed one group, adding Cory, Ashley, and some other people. The group headed off towards the farmer's market to shop for all kinds of fun stuff. They split into smaller groups, and decided to meet back in an hour or so.  
  
Autumn, Emily, and Robbie disappeared into the crowds of people. The first stop was at a Mardi gras bead stand. Dozens of beads passed from that stand to the spastic bandies that passed by. Next, they found a small stand set up that sold Mardi gras masks. Autumn, who happened to be in French, naturally made the other two stop so she could buy a red and black mask.  
  
Following Autumn's purchase of the red mask, they headed down the aisles between the stands. Robbie found a stand that was selling cards, and could not help but to buy a French Quarter deck. Subsequently, they walked around for a while, stopping occasionally to gaze at the knick-knacks for sale. Robbie stopped again to buy a crocodile's foot key chain.  
  
As they headed back to meet with the rest of the group, they noticed that only three or four people were there. The rest of the group was nowhere to be seen. They set out to look for the rest of their group, but were separated from each other while doing so. Finally, they found everyone back at the entrance to the market, and commenced walking back towards the buses.  
  
They were passing a mall, when the bandies remarked that they still had time left to waste. The chaperones agreed, and let the group headed in to grab some lunch. Some of the group had pizza, some had ice cream, and others had both. Some of them ate Chinese food (and came away from it sick). After having their treats, the groups met up with other groups on their way back to the buses. When they finally arrived, the buses and the other groups were nowhere to be seen. 


End file.
